black and white

i''ve more or less shifted! i guesss..

http://thatbillowingblack-cloud.blogspot.com/

i've been thinking maybe i should switch back to using blogspot. i have no idea how to change templates for LJ (not that i do for blogspot but at least theres that html think i think i'll be able to figure out with enough toying around), and LJ does not allow you to have a bloody tagboard! at least. thats what i think. so well. maybe i'll change back. hah.

i think i said before. that i managed to pass the selection for OCIP (overseas community involvement programme). very similar to that of m church mission trips. i think. cos we're going to an orphanage in Prey Veng (i think thats how its spelt) and yeah. doing stuff. anyway it'd be help form the 23rd of nov to the 1st of dec. which means. that i'll have to miss our choir end year concert, which will be held on the 1st of dec. so anyway during yesterday's prac. they kind of well. put me in a really difficult position, along with the 2 other choir people. cos this concert will only involve the year1s (35), and since the batch is so small. we need as muuch manpower as possible. well i think my 2 other choir mates who made it through are pulline out. one of them is cos well. shes the SC. obviously she'll have to be around for the choir. and the other one well. he's able to go for another trip organised by the CIC (community involvement club. i think..). which leaves me. of course. the year end's gonna be a musical - Les Miserables. i cant act/dance for nuts. so i'll prob be playing some insignificant role. but yeah. even though it'll be a small role. it'd make a hell lot of difference. given how small our batch is. but. i dont knoww. the basses in vj seem strong enough. sigh. i think i've quite made up my mind. that i'll prob go ahead for the OCIP. yeah i know i'd be missing out on the concert. but well. i dont think i wanna give up this OCIP for the concert. and yeah. my choir mates. or those i've asked. told me that in mu place. they'd go for the OCIP. so yeah. i think i'd go ahead with it.

anyway. enough of my ranting.

You Are 25% Left Brained, 75% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

this was funny. i thought i'd be more of left brain. but well. you can never really trust the reliability of these things now. can you?

getting back to school tmr! s days away. and i already miss my class. haha.

38days to GP paper. and then. that one week of immense stress.

alright. i better get going. got a chem lecture assessment, Bio SPA, chinese test to study for.

i'm glad.
that i finally let go.

but i'm not sure.
if what i did
was right.



only the one that
never stops.
the one that knows all truth.
will tell.

today was a rather happy day. i guess.

the OCIP selection results were released today. it was quite a surprise cos well. i thought we'd have to go through further interviews and all. so anywaay. the teacher said they had consuted the CTs(all the more i thought i wouldnt get it) and all and went through all the forms already. and they'd posted the results on the board near the koi pond. so well. with a rather draggy feeling i made my way to the board after assembly. the anxiety in me just managed to well. block out most of the noise that was going around. so well. while making my way to the board. wing and rachel were wearing extremely bright faces and loudyly saying things but my ears just didnt really want to register them. it was my eyes that had to do the registering.

so i made it. it was really quite a surprise for me i guess. given my horrible set of results. along with poor meagre documented qualifications. that i was one of the 45(?) chosen. so anyway. thank God for that. really really glad that i can go.

pe today was hilarious. volleyball hurts. but i guess i'm just not hitting it right. and tennis is harrd. reeeally hard. and squash. is hard to play alone. but it was fun nonetheless.

time to put it all behind.
and move on.

anyway i just had news that mathilda got out. seriously. do the people who vote have ears. Joakim/Paul should have gone out AGES ago. i mean. mathilda over joakim/paul. just cos joakim has looks. and just cos paul has obscenely weird hair. and they get to stay till the last 6? she was prob the best bloody voice in the whole competition. and she got voted out over joakim/paul? gah. do you understand what gurmit meant by. VOTE WISELY. WISELY means use your brains, accompanied by your ears. to vote. not. "awww he's so cute i'm gonna vote for him!". reeally. sigh.

Lord guide me.
i need You.
take my hand
and bring my back to that place.

i'm going running tmr morning.
before assembly.

study study study..

How does a soul grow? Not all in a minute!
Now it may lose ground, and now it may win it,
Now it resolves, and again the will faileth;
Now it rejoiceth, and now it bewaileth;
Now its hopes fructify, then they are blighted;
Now it walks sullenly, now gropes benighted;
Fed by discouragements, taught by disasters;
So it goes forward, now slower, now faster,
Till all the pain is past, and failure made whole,
It is full grown, and the Lord rules over the soul.

I fought a liberation war. To ask whether I would do it again is idle talk. I was a young man in an entirely different setting. But the realities and the lessons I learned from that time comprise a body of values I can share with the young who may wish to look beyond their palmtops and understand how history is shaped... It is the exchange of ideas that ultimately moves that world. The barter of views still exhilarates me. You can tell me I was wrong. You can tell me I failed. But I can also tell you how it was and how I tried.

Chin Peng 2003

just sth i found..


i just looked through my archive! my 2005 posts at least. and yeah. hahaha. memories.

i guess.
i've moved on now.
or have i?

no,
its not as easy
as tossing a coin.
or pulling the petals off a rose.

but it was never
meant to be easy.



memories of sec4 year.
the mugging for O's.
all the staying back.
all the movie/subway/food outings.

i really start to miss my sec4 yr.
my teachers!
ernie's weird antics.
most memorable being the one where she came in
and played the elmo song + sesame street theme song on her laptop.
Khooky's lessonss.
lit plays.
seto.
wong. and group1 metals + water in the classroom.

my friends! especially des+terence.
my dear mugging partners who never fail to entertain me.

the climbing 7 stories.
the sneaking into the lifts.
the i'm a graduate i can use the lift! period.

the hugh pirahna looking black fish.
the bent arowana.
the algae covered walls of the pond.

chia falling into the pond.
chia carrying his board thing everwhere he went.

the rush during canteen breaks.
the malay food.
the chinese food.
the coffee.
the nice drink store lady.

the really nice view from the connecting bridges.
the school motto being formed as a shadow on the parade square.
the senseless mosaic things all around.

reading through my posts. hahaha. how i felt sec4 was such a struggle. i never realised. jc would be so much more. yet the more struggle it is. the more rewarding life becomes. its like. you give. you recieve. the more you give. the more you recieve.

this year's been a flash. you've barely blinked an eye. and its already august. everything seems to be running ahead of you. and life seems a desperate struggle to keep up with the things around you. haha.

anyway! enough remeniscing. once a while. its good to sit down. look back at past memories. and relive them. and feel refreshed. then. you'll have to wake up. and move on.

i have moved on.
havent i?

white noise has been. an eye opener. they say the fish is last to discover water. maybe us humans have been too used to all the things around us. we dont even question the basic things anyway. why they happen. how they happen.

just a short excerpt from the book:

"who knows what i wanwt to do? who knows what anyone wants to do? how can you be sure about something like that? isnt't it all a question of brain chemistry, signals going back and forth, electrical energy in the cortex? How do you know whether something is really what you want to do or just some kind of nerve impulse in the brain? some minor little activity takes place somewhere in this unimportant place in one of the brain hemispheres and suddenly i want to go to Montana or i dont want to go to Montana. how do i know i really want to go and it isn't just some neurons firing or something? maybe it's just an accidental flash in the medulla and suddenly there i am in Montana and i found out i really didn't want to go there in the first place. i can't control what happens in my brain, so how can i be sure what i want to do ten seconds from now, much less Montana next summer? it's all this activity in the brain and you don't know you as a person and what's some neuron that just happens to fire or just happens to misfire. .."

hahah i never thought about it that way.

alright. this has been a rather long post. gotta go for the choral presentation thing tmr. hope it'll be good. and maybe i'll get t catch some of the fireworks during the intermission or sth. haha

tireeed.

because i was bored.. and because i cant get anything into/out of my brain.

1. How old do you wish you were?
the age i am noww.

2. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
hmm. cant really remember. prob was home or sth.

3. What do you do when vending machines steal you money?
depends. bad mood. hit the button repeatedly. try the coin return button. then. go to the drink stall uncle. good mood. forget the 50cents. blame it on bad luck.

4. Do you consider yourself kind?
probably. i guess.

5. if you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
first of all. never! but yeah. wrist if i had to.

6. If you could be fluent in any other language (other than English), what would it be?
FRENCH. but in singapore. prob chinese..

7. Do you know your neighbours?
not reeeally.

8. What do you consider going on a vacation?
goood company. good scenary. having in a foreign environment. AWAY from the troubles and worries of home.

9. Do you follow your horoscope?
nope.

10. Would you move for the person you love?
is this some sort of trick question? and. hwat do you mean by. move??

11. Are you touchy feely?
yeah i guess.

12. Do you believe that opposites attract?
sometimes. sometimes not. its just the chemistry btw ppl i guess.

13. Dream job?
being PAID to travel the world tasting the fine delicacies of countries.

14. Favourite channels?
not relaly that much of tv but. star channel. mtv. travel and living.

15. Favourite place to go on weekends?
anyway as long as i get to hang out with good friends..

16. Showers or baths?
usually showers. baths if i have the time. and the energy to spoil myself.

17. Do you paint your own nails?
No!

18. Do you trust ppl easily?
no..

19. What are your phobias?
slightly claustraphobic i guess. aaand. having fear itself.

20. Do you want kids?
YES! YES YES!

21. Do you have a handwritten journal?
nope.

22. Where would you rather be right now?
if i was tired? like i am now? in bed. in i was high and happy? reapeating the stayover that we had during the class bbq!

23. Who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
hardly anyone i guess. dont think its people. its more of. actions. heh.

24. Heavy or light sleeper?
in my own bed? heavy heavy. not my own bed? liggght.

25. Are you paranoid?
i get a little sometimes..

26. Are you impatient?
when i'm in a bad mood. yes. otherwise.. not really

27. Who can you relate to?
what do you mean who? and about what??

28. How do feel abt inter-racial couples?
fine with it. as long as there's lovee.

29. Have you ever be burnt by love?
not really.

30. What's your life motto?
lets see. guess i havent really penned this out in words yet. i have no idea! sets me thinking though. will get it down once i've thought it through.

31. What's your main ring tone on your mobile?
its on silent almost all the time cos well. school. and after school . too lazy to change it back.

32. What were you doing at midnight last night?
chatting? listening to music? and reading.

33. Who was your last text message frm?
WINg. heh.

34. Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
mine duh

35. What colour shirt are you wearing?
White.

36. Name three things you have on you AT ALL TIMES.
pants. underwear. tshirt. (unless i'm bathing, then erm. hair, brain, eyes?)

37. What colour are your bed sheets?
mainly. blue! they're this buzzlightyear sheets i've had since young. in fact. all my sheets i have i've had since young. heh.

38. How much cash do you have on you right now?
less than 10..

39. What is your favourite part of the chicken?
depends on how its cook. if its really crispy and stuff. the tail end of the wing. if juicy and succulent. haha. the breast.

40. What's your favourite town/city?
Singapore i guess. all the friends and all. but i love visiting other places!

41. I can't wait till ...
i have my own kid!

42. Who got you on friendster?
No idea. not logged in to my friendster since.. yeras ago.

43. What did you have for dinner last night?
curry with rice. chicken wings.. veggie. and fried fish fillets. hmmmm.

44. How tall are you?
last checked in jan? 181. but apparently i'm taller now. whee!

45. Have you ever smoked heroin?
obviously Not.

46. Do you own a gun?
if i had one, i would either be in law enforcement, or in jail

47. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
fresh milk!

48. What is your secret weapon to lure the opposite sex?
errrm. no idea. you tellme.

49. Do you have A.D.D?
whats that?!

50. What time did you wake up today?
6.10? school. argh.

51. Current worry?
PROMOS

52. Favourite place to be?
with good friends.

53. Where would you like to travel?
almost anywhere!

54. What do you think you'll be like in 10-yrs time?
happy. hopefully with in the process of getting married :)

55. Last thing you ate?
some chips. i getting faaatter.

56. What songs do you sing in the shower?
in the shower? i'm mostly thinking and loving the feeling of water. i usually sing walking home.

57. Last person that made you laugh?
Dylan my nephew! he's over for the night surprisingly. he's really cute. i thaught him how to pray!

58. Worst injury you ever had?
i cant rmb.. this really bad cut on my knee? err. i fainted once too. but with no apparent reason.

59. Does someone have a crush on you?
noooo ideaaa. prob not though.

60. How did you find this quiz?
other ppl's blogs.

Tag 5 ppl: anyone! and everyone who's bothered to read till here. hahha


national day celebration s today were sad. rather boooring. mass dance was hilarious though. anyway headed down to rent dvd's to head to sharon's house to watch! but before that we had a good breakfast/lunch at fried yong tau foo!

so anyway. after our very delicious meal. we went to rent our dvds and made out way down to sharon's place! managed to watch 2 shows! Inside Man, and The Others. Inside Man was really really REALLY good.what the hell. it was such a mindblowing plot. the ingenuity and perfection of it was just. wow. every Single word that came out of that main robber's mouth. EVERYTHING. led to the ending. it only all came to me when i heard them repeating what he said right at the start. wouldnt mind watching it again. really liked it. i rate it. 4.5/5 stars. The Others was good too. but i watched it before. symbolism wasnt that great. but it was still a really good watch.

anyway. we hung around after the second show for a bit before leaving.

aaaand. one thing that really disturbed me today. its about singaporeans again.
while we were on the bus to sharon's place. when we boarded the bus. there was this lady carrying a baby(prob 1-2 years). so anyway. we didnt have seats as the bus was really crowded. this old lady that had a seat kept offering her seat to the woman carrying her child. but the lady repeatedy refused. while this repetition was going out. students who were seating all around just stared on at the scence. then pretended they saw nothing. i mean cmon!! cant you see this woman needs a bloody seat! even an OLD LADY who can hardly balance herslef is offering up her seat. and you people just SIT THERE and STARE?! ARGH! cmon man... and what was WORSE i tell you. was that when we reached one of the stops. this student got off. so now. there was this seat for the lady wth the baby. BUT. as soon as the seat was empty. this STUPID student just rushed to the bloody seat and sat down. ARGH ARGH! felt like slapping the boy in the face. GAH. really. parents should really stop worrying about the academics of students so much. and start teaching them some bloody courtesy.

anyway. the baby was DARN cute. i smiled at him and he smiled back at me! hah.

anyway. i've been reading! amanda was so sweet as to get me the book i was looking for! you reeeally didnt ave to. but yeah. thansk a bunch. its really good. i mean. some passaged. i ahve to read over 2-3 times before i get what its really trying to say. and its like. woooah. when you read it. gah. i'm only a few pages through. cant wait to see what the rest of the pages hold in store for me. maybe one day when i'm more free i'll type out a passage or sth. haha. orr. you can just ask me! its really good.

alright. off to sleep now. so i can well. relax tmr! as well as get some work done. when my brain's awake again.

happy birthday SINGAPORE! its already national day. wheeeee

class bbq! was fantastic.

yesterday started off on a well. eager mood i guess. everyone couldnt wait for the day to end cos we were all looking forward to the bbq!



this is SOO. waking from his usual morning slumber.

so anyway. we were having usual friday lessons. except that we had to sit through 2 period of chem lesson rather than do a practical. and that we ahd an extra bio lesson at the end of the day.



deon. after the last bio period. haha

so anyway. after lessons few of us headed down to MP to buy the foood! dont really think we overbought. just that well i guess ppl didnt eat enough. 24 ppl should have been able to eat much much more.



us after our shopping. and out looong receipt.

so then they headed down to sharon(ouor host for the night)'s house and prepare while i went home to deposit school stuff and get my stuff.

had a reeeally good time! hahah. here's a taste of waht happenned.


the guys. or at least those who were there at that time.


the guys again..


the girls.. too lazy to name all of them


those who were there! at that point of time. some of them came later cos of concerts andd stuff. oh well.


chilling by some music..


i look faaat in this photo


last oen for the day! some of the guys doing things they do best. haha

anyway what happenned later was well. more food. more dun. dunking. staying over. watching a stupid show. mahjong. which i didnt play. and yeah. sleeping late.

i had choir early this morning. but wasnt feeling too tired. no idea why.

anyway will elaborate of the bbq some other time. my light is flickering now and its starting to creep me out. so i shall go sleep now. haha

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		10
Physical Touch:		9
Receiving Gifts:		5
Words of Affirmation:		4
Acts of Service:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

i got booored from work.

had a really good time yesterday. our choir treat! school treated us to dinner cos of all we've been doing so yeah. dinner at breeks! food wasnt thaaat fantastic must say but was the company that made things hilarious.

when choir people get together. its pure madness. like. everyone's on a high. hahawas a night of photo 'whoring'. hahah. and just well. fun and laughter.

school's been fine recent;y i guess. jsut havent relaly been keeping up with work. gotta make full use on next week to get back on track. 54 days left before the first promo paper! so eyah. really gotta work hard.

nothing interesting hasbeen happenning recently. choir has a whole line up of events coming up though. filming on monday. then we have open house performance. family3 performance. choral presentation on 11/8. singapore idol finals. PCC(pre christmas concert).. caroling. which will be faaaanntastic. haha. but yeah. extremely demanding.

class bbq tmr! looking forward to it. people better GO. and some of the girls better stay over otherwise it'll end p only being guys staying over.

alright time to get back to work.

*BY they way! i'm looking for this book called 'white noise' by don delillo. ANyone have it?! relaly wanna read it!

... If you comment on this post,

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. You must post this on yours

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to
console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.


i've been feeling quite down recently.

and then i read this prayer.

no more self pitying david. no more.

its time to get things right.
its time. to start.

had a really rough start to the week. first. my specs broke before i even went to school on monday.
then econs was well. angry and we had to have a make up. which was supposed to be today at 5.
i felt terrible the whole of yesterday. but SCO made it better somehow. spending time with friends and all. although it was bloody tiring.

i was NOT Looking forward at all to today. cos well. school would end at 6 with a econs make up at the end of the day. my specs still broke, hanging thinly by a hinge. ready to swing into 2 pieces anytime to embarass me.
furthermore. a GP essay to look forward to.
but it all ended up alright i guess.

econs make up was cancelled. for a reason which i do not know.
a scolding i expected fromo my chinese teacher turned as a a rather. funny experience. ok well. this i s waht happenned.

so yesterday i rushed toget my zuo wen done. previously i had lost my book. i'm quite sure i ahnded it up bu apparently its disappeared. having no book. i did it one this other book, which is used for like. chinese spelling and like. free writing. but its BARELY been used. in fact. only one page has been used. so well. id id my zuo wen on this book. showing it to her. she didnt want it and asked me to go home to get it copied into a new book. angry over the effort i had to come up wth last night, as well as not wanting to waste books and paper, i nicely tore the first page off, and handed it up to her pig hole after lesson. she calls me in the middle of writing a lesson, leaving a voice mail to come see her at 230. knowing very well it was about the zuo wen. i had a heavy heart the hwole day. and was gearing myself up for a scolding. so i went there at 230. called her a couple of times. and she wasnt there. so well i left for lecture. after lecture. i went to find her again and she wasnt there. after school. i went to look for her yet again and she was nowhere to be found. in the end one of my ver nice classmates found her and i walked back to school after wlaking out just to go see her. (notice the lengths i would go to just to get a scolding). so yeah. i met her on the spiral staircase and told her i couldnt find her. and well. the conversation went sth like that. (translated to english literally)

"yang sheng ah! you know i've been looking for you!"
"yeah i know but i went to find you at 230 and you werent there"
"how can i was there the whole day what"
"but i called and caleld and no one answered"
"oh ya i was having lesson at that time"
"i asked you to go copy your zuo wen right? why you still hand up. nvm come with me i prepare a new book for you already"
having nth to say i followed her.
"wa you ah. your will very strong right(i ahve no idea is this was meant to be good or bad). must do what you insist right"
"huh. no la"
"no meh? nvm i INSIST you go and copy"
waiting for her in the outside the hod room.
"na i got a book for you to copy already. copy nicely ah! grow to be so good-looking but handwriting so ugly!" (-_-)
"yeah ok"
"must work hard ah!"
"yeah i will"
"na go home copy nicely"
"thank you teacher"
and off i went. well at least she gave me a second hand book. so instead of wasting. i'm halping to save! so thats good. and well. since i was in a cleare state of mind today than yesterday. i sort of redid my zuuo wen. oh well.

i have no idea if that was meant as a scolding. or. i have no idea what it was. she didnt seem angry though. oh well.

i went to make my specs after that! can only collect next monday. gonna hve to take care of this pair. dont wnat to kpp having to change. my degree hasnt changed! heh.

anyway. now to do that chinese assignment thing. got lots to catch up on.

i am NOT Looking forward to this thurs.

church today was rather. interesting. sermon was different i guess. one thing though. i felt that well. sometimes youth of our age might not be able to discern God's calling from one's wants. such that he may turn his own want into thinking that that is God's calling for him. yeah. heh. other than that. it was well. a rather different experience.

one thing i'm really sad about. is the benediction. why dont we see our youth benediction anymore?! sigh. the youth is really changing. even our bulletin now follows the format of the adult service one. anyway. in remembrance on of our benediction.

May the road rise to meet you
may the wind blow at your back
may the sun shine warmly on your face
may the rain fall softly on your fields
and until we meet again
until we meet again
may God hold you
in the palm
oh His hands.

Amen.

after church. went for lunch with class. and AFTER that. followed my dad. and we went to paramount along with calvin and family for lunch. i wasnt planning on eating since i already had lunch but well. couldnt resist with all that dim sum lying in front of me. and. dylan's bloody amusing. haha.

anyway. 2 people today asked me about the breakout on my face. i have nooo idea why but maybe its cos of all the stress and all. sigh.

here's to a reeeeally busy week ahead for me.

tmr - after school. prac with the SCO from 1900-2230
tues- no prac but. school ends really late.
wed- college day rehearsal after school.
thurs- prac with the sco again from 1900-2230
friday- SCO concert first night
sat- college day + SCO concert second night.

hooooow wonderful. heres the things i need to do by next week.

1. a bio test to study for. which is tmr by the way.
2. second draft of EoM by thurs
3. math tutorials on differentiation
4. chem tutorial on the periodic table
5. many more tutorials which i have forgotten about
6. do the econs notes thing
7. compile the econs notes thing then send it
8. cut my hair

JC life never gets sedentary. does it.

right after SCO. will be mugging period for me. i have to start compiling my notes on stuff. making notes for evey chapter. practicing past year questions. reviewing md yr papers.. and yeah. mug.

alright gotta go now. study for bio..

havent been updating for the longest time.

guess i've been too lazy and well. life's been boring.

anyway. got back all my results already. my highest is bio! which is only like a 60. but bloody surprising cos i never expected to do well in it ocnsidering how lost i've been in lectures. i still am by the way.
anyway. BIO - C
Chem - E
ECONS - E
MATH - S
GP - E
chinese - C6

hahaha. bad i know. and i deserve it. so. i'm gonna work haaaard for promos. and get at least one B. and the rest to be at least C's. i HOPE. ahaha. gotta start mugging soon.

besides that. choir!
according to MUSICA MUNI. which organises like most of the choir festivals + the olympics. ranked VJ as the 8th in the WORLD!! hahahahaa. 8th! quite an achievement eh. haha. was so amazed when i saw it today.

my life's been boring. or at least. i've not been bloggin bout the interesting parts.

oh and one more thing.

VJ guys. do not know how to piss.
it grosses me out.

its really disgusting when you go into a cubicle, and see drops of pee all around the pedester pan. which people SIT on to well. yeah. i mean cmon. if u guys are peeing in the cubicles. at least have the courtesy of lifting up the pan before you pee. and for nuts sake AIM -_- cant believe i'm saying this but. YEAH. AIM. and if u make a mess. CLEAN IT UP. so that people after you dont have to clean you PEE up. and its relaly gross how some people dont flush. even after doing their BIG business. YUCK.
please. you're called victorians for a reason. argh

things are really starting to get really confusing. aha

oh and and and. my school is organising sth like the PMC's cambodia mission trip! just to a different orphanage in cambodia. since i couldnt go for missions this eyar. i really really wanna go! just that well. demand for it is high. so prob have to go through selection. sigh. pray that i get through! really wanna go! ahha.

alright thats it for now. choir tmr... cant wait till SCO is over.

you know how sometimes
you think you've found
the best that you could possibly have

then you have it for a while
and over time you
find out that
its not what it really is at all

i hate those times

what happened to all those promises?
guess they were all just
a pack of empty lies eh?

dont lead me into anything anymore
cos its always the same
once you're done
using me
you throw me aside
and then call on me only when you
need me
again.

well
i'm not sth to be thrown around
by the mercies
of you.

you have no idea how much
it hurts me.
cos its just so damn hard
for me to
let go.

my mum just stormed into my room the moment she came back.
and well. said some things that really pissed me off.

after a awhile i just gave up and well. shut up and let her just continue till she was done.
its just so hard to explain things to you when you're all hot headed.
and ma. really. some of the things you said today. was really too ridiculous.

we love you. and you know that. dont EVER say we dont.
thats a bloody insult.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

that aside.

chinese oral today was screwed up. really. bloody screwed up.
just glad that i'm done with it. and pray that i will pass my chinese.

was in a library today reading TIMES.
and it was such a horrible feeling reading
"every single day 1250 congolese die due to war-related causes"
it really wrenched my heart. here we are living in such comfort
going about our daily lives
complaining about all the stress
complaining about all the things we dont have
getting angry at the smallest thing
not treasuring the smallest things.
and yet thousands of miles away. every day passed means another 1250 people dead.
imagine that. one day. and half your school population is dead.
they dont even have clean water. let alone food.
here we are living in comfort.
and there they are dying away.
God.
do something.

and yes.my results were disgusting. form today onwarrds. any free time i have will be spent on studying. gotta get everything ready and do well for promos. dont wanna repeat another mdyrs. i really screwed mdyrs up big time. gonna be more hardworking from now on.

argh. too pissed off today.
gonna try to do work now.

"Welcome to the real world", she said to me
Condescendingly
Take a seat
Take your life
Plot it out in black and white
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
And the drama queens
I'd like to think the best of me
Is still hiding
Up my sleeve

They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above

So the good boys and girls take the so called right track
Faded white hats
Grabbing credits and
Maybe transfers
They read all the books but they can't find the answers
And all of our parents
They're getting older
I wonder if they've wished for anything better
While in their memories
Tiny tragedies

They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you got to rise above

I am invincible
I am invincible
I am invincible
As long as I'm alive

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above

I just can't wait 'til my 10 year reunion
I'm gonna bust down the double doors
And when I stand on these tables before you
You will know what all this time was for

love this song.

i cant wait..

you know. i just dont get it.
what this thing with people being against vs guys and all.

yoou think we're crude, unruly, barbaric, egoistic, snobbish assholes.
well. you're wrong.

yeah there are people like that.
but then again. which school doesnt?

yes i know i get that. 'you're an exception' kind of thing all the time
as well as the time. 'you dont look vs at all'.
but guess what.
i'm still from there.
i'm still a victorian.

you know. i'm sick and tired of hearing the
'vs guys are disgusting' and all that crap.
because we're not.
and it pisses me off
cos well. i DID come from there.
and you have no right to say anything.

dont criticise what you think you know
cos you dont know anything.

and before you open your mouth
look at yourself first.

you think vs guys are disgusting?
well. i'll tell you sth.
we're ALL disgusting.
yes you and me
one way or another.

this week's was probably the most stressful week i've had this year.

bio and gp on monday. 2 papers in a day. can just kill me. bio was argh. waht can i say. i hope i pass. gp was. even worse. sigh.

then came chem. which was. not thaat bad i guess. just didnt have enough time for mcq.

econs on wed. spent like. 10min trying to remember how to draw the stupid diagram. crapped so much to a point i didnt really know what i was writing.

math was the worst. i just. totally blanked out when i saw the questions. really. why the hell do they set such bloody terribly hard questions for us. it was so demoralising doing the paper. teachers actually laughed at us.

chinese. wasnt that bad. except that i studied the wrong thing.

WHATEVER. midyears are sooo screwed up. and i dont really care anymore. just glad that its OVER. finally. just hope i pass eveything. math is like. a sure fail though.

on a BRIGHTER side. it was my birthday yesterday! so yess. i'm officialy 17!

had prac in the morning. which was well. great to sing again. miss choir a lot. cept for some things. anyway sco songs arent that bad after all. they're quite nice actually. went out with choir ppl after that! had lunch at PP then went over to yuting's place. where we chilled and watched a movie. then. dinner at night!

dinner was faaaantastic. ok. besides the fact that there were no raw oysters. it was fantastic. foood was good. quite a few relatives came over. anad playing with the babies. which well. totally brightened up my day. eva is soooooo cute. i got to hold her a while :) and dylan is soooo well. cheeky. but he listens. tyler is just. well. in a world of his own i guess. he's actually heavier than dylan. woww.

church today! was great going back. we FINALLY dont have to shift chairs aorund anymore. somehow i really miss the old YM. back when we were crammed, small, not so formal like, just a bunch of youths having fun in the presence of God. suddenly YM's changed so much. with a formal service, with sermons, with like. a whole service on its own. its well. gd and all but. the old YM just exuded so much more a warmly experiencee. now its just. well. yeah..

great catching up with eveyrone and all. haha.

alrght. getting back to school thius week. results and all. haha. see how it goes. gonna watch shows now!

what a horrible way to start the week























sigh.