black and white

i''ve more or less shifted! i guesss..

http://thatbillowingblack-cloud.blogspot.com/

i've been thinking maybe i should switch back to using blogspot. i have no idea how to change templates for LJ (not that i do for blogspot but at least theres that html think i think i'll be able to figure out with enough toying around), and LJ does not allow you to have a bloody tagboard! at least. thats what i think. so well. maybe i'll change back. hah.

i think i said before. that i managed to pass the selection for OCIP (overseas community involvement programme). very similar to that of m church mission trips. i think. cos we're going to an orphanage in Prey Veng (i think thats how its spelt) and yeah. doing stuff. anyway it'd be help form the 23rd of nov to the 1st of dec. which means. that i'll have to miss our choir end year concert, which will be held on the 1st of dec. so anyway during yesterday's prac. they kind of well. put me in a really difficult position, along with the 2 other choir people. cos this concert will only involve the year1s (35), and since the batch is so small. we need as muuch manpower as possible. well i think my 2 other choir mates who made it through are pulline out. one of them is cos well. shes the SC. obviously she'll have to be around for the choir. and the other one well. he's able to go for another trip organised by the CIC (community involvement club. i think..). which leaves me. of course. the year end's gonna be a musical - Les Miserables. i cant act/dance for nuts. so i'll prob be playing some insignificant role. but yeah. even though it'll be a small role. it'd make a hell lot of difference. given how small our batch is. but. i dont knoww. the basses in vj seem strong enough. sigh. i think i've quite made up my mind. that i'll prob go ahead for the OCIP. yeah i know i'd be missing out on the concert. but well. i dont think i wanna give up this OCIP for the concert. and yeah. my choir mates. or those i've asked. told me that in mu place. they'd go for the OCIP. so yeah. i think i'd go ahead with it.

anyway. enough of my ranting.

You Are 25% Left Brained, 75% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

this was funny. i thought i'd be more of left brain. but well. you can never really trust the reliability of these things now. can you?

getting back to school tmr! s days away. and i already miss my class. haha.

38days to GP paper. and then. that one week of immense stress.

alright. i better get going. got a chem lecture assessment, Bio SPA, chinese test to study for.

i'm glad.
that i finally let go.

but i'm not sure.
if what i did
was right.



only the one that
never stops.
the one that knows all truth.
will tell.

today was a rather happy day. i guess.

the OCIP selection results were released today. it was quite a surprise cos well. i thought we'd have to go through further interviews and all. so anywaay. the teacher said they had consuted the CTs(all the more i thought i wouldnt get it) and all and went through all the forms already. and they'd posted the results on the board near the koi pond. so well. with a rather draggy feeling i made my way to the board after assembly. the anxiety in me just managed to well. block out most of the noise that was going around. so well. while making my way to the board. wing and rachel were wearing extremely bright faces and loudyly saying things but my ears just didnt really want to register them. it was my eyes that had to do the registering.

so i made it. it was really quite a surprise for me i guess. given my horrible set of results. along with poor meagre documented qualifications. that i was one of the 45(?) chosen. so anyway. thank God for that. really really glad that i can go.

pe today was hilarious. volleyball hurts. but i guess i'm just not hitting it right. and tennis is harrd. reeeally hard. and squash. is hard to play alone. but it was fun nonetheless.

time to put it all behind.
and move on.

anyway i just had news that mathilda got out. seriously. do the people who vote have ears. Joakim/Paul should have gone out AGES ago. i mean. mathilda over joakim/paul. just cos joakim has looks. and just cos paul has obscenely weird hair. and they get to stay till the last 6? she was prob the best bloody voice in the whole competition. and she got voted out over joakim/paul? gah. do you understand what gurmit meant by. VOTE WISELY. WISELY means use your brains, accompanied by your ears. to vote. not. "awww he's so cute i'm gonna vote for him!". reeally. sigh.

Lord guide me.
i need You.
take my hand
and bring my back to that place.

i'm going running tmr morning.
before assembly.

study study study..

How does a soul grow? Not all in a minute!
Now it may lose ground, and now it may win it,
Now it resolves, and again the will faileth;
Now it rejoiceth, and now it bewaileth;
Now its hopes fructify, then they are blighted;
Now it walks sullenly, now gropes benighted;
Fed by discouragements, taught by disasters;
So it goes forward, now slower, now faster,
Till all the pain is past, and failure made whole,
It is full grown, and the Lord rules over the soul.

I fought a liberation war. To ask whether I would do it again is idle talk. I was a young man in an entirely different setting. But the realities and the lessons I learned from that time comprise a body of values I can share with the young who may wish to look beyond their palmtops and understand how history is shaped... It is the exchange of ideas that ultimately moves that world. The barter of views still exhilarates me. You can tell me I was wrong. You can tell me I failed. But I can also tell you how it was and how I tried.

Chin Peng 2003

just sth i found..


i just looked through my archive! my 2005 posts at least. and yeah. hahaha. memories.

i guess.
i've moved on now.
or have i?

no,
its not as easy
as tossing a coin.
or pulling the petals off a rose.

but it was never
meant to be easy.



memories of sec4 year.
the mugging for O's.
all the staying back.
all the movie/subway/food outings.

i really start to miss my sec4 yr.
my teachers!
ernie's weird antics.
most memorable being the one where she came in
and played the elmo song + sesame street theme song on her laptop.
Khooky's lessonss.
lit plays.
seto.
wong. and group1 metals + water in the classroom.

my friends! especially des+terence.
my dear mugging partners who never fail to entertain me.

the climbing 7 stories.
the sneaking into the lifts.
the i'm a graduate i can use the lift! period.

the hugh pirahna looking black fish.
the bent arowana.
the algae covered walls of the pond.

chia falling into the pond.
chia carrying his board thing everwhere he went.

the rush during canteen breaks.
the malay food.
the chinese food.
the coffee.
the nice drink store lady.

the really nice view from the connecting bridges.
the school motto being formed as a shadow on the parade square.
the senseless mosaic things all around.

reading through my posts. hahaha. how i felt sec4 was such a struggle. i never realised. jc would be so much more. yet the more struggle it is. the more rewarding life becomes. its like. you give. you recieve. the more you give. the more you recieve.

this year's been a flash. you've barely blinked an eye. and its already august. everything seems to be running ahead of you. and life seems a desperate struggle to keep up with the things around you. haha.

anyway! enough remeniscing. once a while. its good to sit down. look back at past memories. and relive them. and feel refreshed. then. you'll have to wake up. and move on.

i have moved on.
havent i?

white noise has been. an eye opener. they say the fish is last to discover water. maybe us humans have been too used to all the things around us. we dont even question the basic things anyway. why they happen. how they happen.

just a short excerpt from the book:

"who knows what i wanwt to do? who knows what anyone wants to do? how can you be sure about something like that? isnt't it all a question of brain chemistry, signals going back and forth, electrical energy in the cortex? How do you know whether something is really what you want to do or just some kind of nerve impulse in the brain? some minor little activity takes place somewhere in this unimportant place in one of the brain hemispheres and suddenly i want to go to Montana or i dont want to go to Montana. how do i know i really want to go and it isn't just some neurons firing or something? maybe it's just an accidental flash in the medulla and suddenly there i am in Montana and i found out i really didn't want to go there in the first place. i can't control what happens in my brain, so how can i be sure what i want to do ten seconds from now, much less Montana next summer? it's all this activity in the brain and you don't know you as a person and what's some neuron that just happens to fire or just happens to misfire. .."

hahah i never thought about it that way.

alright. this has been a rather long post. gotta go for the choral presentation thing tmr. hope it'll be good. and maybe i'll get t catch some of the fireworks during the intermission or sth. haha

tireeed.

because i was bored.. and because i cant get anything into/out of my brain.

1. How old do you wish you were?
the age i am noww.

2. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
hmm. cant really remember. prob was home or sth.

3. What do you do when vending machines steal you money?
depends. bad mood. hit the button repeatedly. try the coin return button. then. go to the drink stall uncle. good mood. forget the 50cents. blame it on bad luck.

4. Do you consider yourself kind?
probably. i guess.

5. if you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
first of all. never! but yeah. wrist if i had to.

6. If you could be fluent in any other language (other than English), what would it be?
FRENCH. but in singapore. prob chinese..

7. Do you know your neighbours?
not reeeally.

8. What do you consider going on a vacation?
goood company. good scenary. having in a foreign environment. AWAY from the troubles and worries of home.

9. Do you follow your horoscope?
nope.

10. Would you move for the person you love?
is this some sort of trick question? and. hwat do you mean by. move??

11. Are you touchy feely?
yeah i guess.

12. Do you believe that opposites attract?
sometimes. sometimes not. its just the chemistry btw ppl i guess.

13. Dream job?
being PAID to travel the world tasting the fine delicacies of countries.

14. Favourite channels?
not relaly that much of tv but. star channel. mtv. travel and living.

15. Favourite place to go on weekends?
anyway as long as i get to hang out with good friends..

16. Showers or baths?
usually showers. baths if i have the time. and the energy to spoil myself.

17. Do you paint your own nails?
No!

18. Do you trust ppl easily?
no..

19. What are your phobias?
slightly claustraphobic i guess. aaand. having fear itself.

20. Do you want kids?
YES! YES YES!

21. Do you have a handwritten journal?
nope.

22. Where would you rather be right now?
if i was tired? like i am now? in bed. in i was high and happy? reapeating the stayover that we had during the class bbq!

23. Who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
hardly anyone i guess. dont think its people. its more of. actions. heh.

24. Heavy or light sleeper?
in my own bed? heavy heavy. not my own bed? liggght.

25. Are you paranoid?
i get a little sometimes..

26. Are you impatient?
when i'm in a bad mood. yes. otherwise.. not really

27. Who can you relate to?
what do you mean who? and about what??

28. How do feel abt inter-racial couples?
fine with it. as long as there's lovee.

29. Have you ever be burnt by love?
not really.

30. What's your life motto?
lets see. guess i havent really penned this out in words yet. i have no idea! sets me thinking though. will get it down once i've thought it through.

31. What's your main ring tone on your mobile?
its on silent almost all the time cos well. school. and after school . too lazy to change it back.

32. What were you doing at midnight last night?
chatting? listening to music? and reading.

33. Who was your last text message frm?
WINg. heh.

34. Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
mine duh

35. What colour shirt are you wearing?
White.

36. Name three things you have on you AT ALL TIMES.
pants. underwear. tshirt. (unless i'm bathing, then erm. hair, brain, eyes?)

37. What colour are your bed sheets?
mainly. blue! they're this buzzlightyear sheets i've had since young. in fact. all my sheets i have i've had since young. heh.

38. How much cash do you have on you right now?
less than 10..

39. What is your favourite part of the chicken?
depends on how its cook. if its really crispy and stuff. the tail end of the wing. if juicy and succulent. haha. the breast.

40. What's your favourite town/city?
Singapore i guess. all the friends and all. but i love visiting other places!

41. I can't wait till ...
i have my own kid!

42. Who got you on friendster?
No idea. not logged in to my friendster since.. yeras ago.

43. What did you have for dinner last night?
curry with rice. chicken wings.. veggie. and fried fish fillets. hmmmm.

44. How tall are you?
last checked in jan? 181. but apparently i'm taller now. whee!

45. Have you ever smoked heroin?
obviously Not.

46. Do you own a gun?
if i had one, i would either be in law enforcement, or in jail

47. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
fresh milk!

48. What is your secret weapon to lure the opposite sex?
errrm. no idea. you tellme.

49. Do you have A.D.D?
whats that?!

50. What time did you wake up today?
6.10? school. argh.

51. Current worry?
PROMOS

52. Favourite place to be?
with good friends.

53. Where would you like to travel?
almost anywhere!

54. What do you think you'll be like in 10-yrs time?
happy. hopefully with in the process of getting married :)

55. Last thing you ate?
some chips. i getting faaatter.

56. What songs do you sing in the shower?
in the shower? i'm mostly thinking and loving the feeling of water. i usually sing walking home.

57. Last person that made you laugh?
Dylan my nephew! he's over for the night surprisingly. he's really cute. i thaught him how to pray!

58. Worst injury you ever had?
i cant rmb.. this really bad cut on my knee? err. i fainted once too. but with no apparent reason.

59. Does someone have a crush on you?
noooo ideaaa. prob not though.

60. How did you find this quiz?
other ppl's blogs.

Tag 5 ppl: anyone! and everyone who's bothered to read till here. hahha


national day celebration s today were sad. rather boooring. mass dance was hilarious though. anyway headed down to rent dvd's to head to sharon's house to watch! but before that we had a good breakfast/lunch at fried yong tau foo!

so anyway. after our very delicious meal. we went to rent our dvds and made out way down to sharon's place! managed to watch 2 shows! Inside Man, and The Others. Inside Man was really really REALLY good.what the hell. it was such a mindblowing plot. the ingenuity and perfection of it was just. wow. every Single word that came out of that main robber's mouth. EVERYTHING. led to the ending. it only all came to me when i heard them repeating what he said right at the start. wouldnt mind watching it again. really liked it. i rate it. 4.5/5 stars. The Others was good too. but i watched it before. symbolism wasnt that great. but it was still a really good watch.

anyway. we hung around after the second show for a bit before leaving.

aaaand. one thing that really disturbed me today. its about singaporeans again.
while we were on the bus to sharon's place. when we boarded the bus. there was this lady carrying a baby(prob 1-2 years). so anyway. we didnt have seats as the bus was really crowded. this old lady that had a seat kept offering her seat to the woman carrying her child. but the lady repeatedy refused. while this repetition was going out. students who were seating all around just stared on at the scence. then pretended they saw nothing. i mean cmon!! cant you see this woman needs a bloody seat! even an OLD LADY who can hardly balance herslef is offering up her seat. and you people just SIT THERE and STARE?! ARGH! cmon man... and what was WORSE i tell you. was that when we reached one of the stops. this student got off. so now. there was this seat for the lady wth the baby. BUT. as soon as the seat was empty. this STUPID student just rushed to the bloody seat and sat down. ARGH ARGH! felt like slapping the boy in the face. GAH. really. parents should really stop worrying about the academics of students so much. and start teaching them some bloody courtesy.

anyway. the baby was DARN cute. i smiled at him and he smiled back at me! hah.

anyway. i've been reading! amanda was so sweet as to get me the book i was looking for! you reeeally didnt ave to. but yeah. thansk a bunch. its really good. i mean. some passaged. i ahve to read over 2-3 times before i get what its really trying to say. and its like. woooah. when you read it. gah. i'm only a few pages through. cant wait to see what the rest of the pages hold in store for me. maybe one day when i'm more free i'll type out a passage or sth. haha. orr. you can just ask me! its really good.

alright. off to sleep now. so i can well. relax tmr! as well as get some work done. when my brain's awake again.

happy birthday SINGAPORE! its already national day. wheeeee

class bbq! was fantastic.

yesterday started off on a well. eager mood i guess. everyone couldnt wait for the day to end cos we were all looking forward to the bbq!



this is SOO. waking from his usual morning slumber.

so anyway. we were having usual friday lessons. except that we had to sit through 2 period of chem lesson rather than do a practical. and that we ahd an extra bio lesson at the end of the day.



deon. after the last bio period. haha

so anyway. after lessons few of us headed down to MP to buy the foood! dont really think we overbought. just that well i guess ppl didnt eat enough. 24 ppl should have been able to eat much much more.



us after our shopping. and out looong receipt.

so then they headed down to sharon(ouor host for the night)'s house and prepare while i went home to deposit school stuff and get my stuff.

had a reeeally good time! hahah. here's a taste of waht happenned.


the guys. or at least those who were there at that time.


the guys again..


the girls.. too lazy to name all of them


those who were there! at that point of time. some of them came later cos of concerts andd stuff. oh well.


chilling by some music..


i look faaat in this photo


last oen for the day! some of the guys doing things they do best. haha

anyway what happenned later was well. more food. more dun. dunking. staying over. watching a stupid show. mahjong. which i didnt play. and yeah. sleeping late.

i had choir early this morning. but wasnt feeling too tired. no idea why.

anyway will elaborate of the bbq some other time. my light is flickering now and its starting to creep me out. so i shall go sleep now. haha

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		10
Physical Touch:		9
Receiving Gifts:		5
Words of Affirmation:		4
Acts of Service:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

i got booored from work.

had a really good time yesterday. our choir treat! school treated us to dinner cos of all we've been doing so yeah. dinner at breeks! food wasnt thaaat fantastic must say but was the company that made things hilarious.

when choir people get together. its pure madness. like. everyone's on a high. hahawas a night of photo 'whoring'. hahah. and just well. fun and laughter.

school's been fine recent;y i guess. jsut havent relaly been keeping up with work. gotta make full use on next week to get back on track. 54 days left before the first promo paper! so eyah. really gotta work hard.

nothing interesting hasbeen happenning recently. choir has a whole line up of events coming up though. filming on monday. then we have open house performance. family3 performance. choral presentation on 11/8. singapore idol finals. PCC(pre christmas concert).. caroling. which will be faaaanntastic. haha. but yeah. extremely demanding.

class bbq tmr! looking forward to it. people better GO. and some of the girls better stay over otherwise it'll end p only being guys staying over.

alright time to get back to work.

*BY they way! i'm looking for this book called 'white noise' by don delillo. ANyone have it?! relaly wanna read it!

... If you comment on this post,

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. You must post this on yours